“Não sou velho, só tenho mais idade”: envelhecimento, homoerotismo e masculinidades entre homens de meia idade no Rio de Janeiro e Extremo Sul da Bahia

Abstract

“Middle age” is the name commonly given to a stage of the course of life in which one is “between places”, using Turner’s (2005) notion of liminality: no longer in the early years of adulthood, but still haven't reached old age and its marks, especially physical ones. Of imprecise definition when it comes to chronological milestones, its main characteristic is its proximity to the last stage of life. Although anyone – indeed, any living being – begins to age from the moment they are born, it is middle age that tends to “remind” us of the passage of time. However, this attention to aging is not an inflexible rule: the perception of aging occurs in different ways, and it seems to be “pointed out” more by the other than by ourselves. Thus, this research intends to analyze how men with homoerotic practices who are in middle age understand aging and how they “prepare” – if they prepare at all – for this “new phase” of life. Living in the Metropolitan Region of Rio de Janeiro (RMRJ) and the Extreme South of Bahia (ESB) – completely disparate regions, if we consider demographic and socioeconomic data – these men are permeated not only by the course of life, but also by other social categories of differentiation, such as gender, sexuality, corporality, territory, social class, race/skin color. Thus, they show similarities and differences that indicate the countless nuances that aging brings to their lives. From theoretical references on homosexuality, aging and others social markers of difference, this study was developed through semi-structured, in-depth interviews, which sought to find out about their present – who they are and what they currently do; his past – the discovery of homosexual desire and how this fact unfolded in family and friendship relationships; and what they imagine for their future – when (and if) they realized that time is passing and if they do something to “stop” the “masks of aging”, as Simões (2004) points out. It is necessary to emphasize that the development of this research was deeply affected by the Covid-19 pandemic, which not only expanded the territory to be studied – from Rio to the south of Bahia –, but also prevented the initial proposal of an effective frequency in socialization places of these men. In general, what is perceived is that the proximity of old age, although not identified as a factor that causes fear, is managed in various ways. It is also modified according to the situation and relationships experienced by these men – whether in Rio or in the south of Bahia.